Marriage is what you make it.

"Life is what you make it" is a phrase my grandmother would say in response to my belly aching about how bored I was, how boring Alaska was, and what an asshole my husband is. She would respond with, "life is what you make it, and you people think the world owes you something." She would say the problem with you and your generation is you want instant gratification, she would then proceed into her long diatribe of growing up during the depression, when they didn't have a pot to piss in and how far a quarter would get you and how appreciative she was for a roof over her head and yada, yada yada...

How does this relate to marriage you say? Hold onto your hats, Ladies, we are going for a ride on the Reality Train. Many of my friends and acquaintances prior to marriage viewed it as the end all be all. Oh, it will be so great and my husband will forever grow sweeter and kinder and I will always be happy and I can't wait to be married. Marriage is viewed as some freaking romantic fairy tale and adding a child is the cherry on top! Ladies, I am here to tell you the day you say "I do" is the day your life changes forever!

So you get married, even though some tell you not to. You think to yourself hmmmm, why are they so negative?  All that nasty stuff they say will never happen to me!  Dammit, I am getting married.

Soooooo . . .  the day after your wedded bliss, you look over at your handsome husband and say, "Uh oh ,what did I do?"

He is farting and burping and scratching, you think to yourself this cannot be the same night in shining armour I knew before the nuptials. Well guess what, all his hard work of courting you and being nice to you is over! Your beloved can now let it all hang out cause he knows you are now officially stuck with him.  Ha ha!

How Does It Work

We'll be sharing more stories of how our Honesty is Best Policy has saved each other on many occasions.  If you are ready for us to give you the no holds barred truth, then leave your situation in the comments section of the latest post.  We'll be happy to give it our best shot.

Check back for our response and what other people have to say about your phucked up situation.  Oh, and feel free to comment on other peoples' crap, too.  We're like the dysfunctional family you already have, but you won't have to see us at Thanksgiving or get ugly picture frames or cheap perfume from us at Christmas.

What Is This?

My name is Washington.  Two years ago, I had my first baby.  I thought that would be my Happily Ever After and I would ride off into the sunset with my husband, baby, and child.

Ha.

Four months later, I was having a nervous breakdown.  My husband had turned into a lazy asshole and I wasn't sure our marriage would survive parenthood. 

I called my friend, Alaska.  I expected her to tell me to pack my bags and leave my jerk of a husband.  Instead, she told me that everyones' husbands were assholes and if I got rid of this one, I'd just get another one.  She told me that life was going to suck for awhile, probably until my son was in kindergarten, but then it would get better.

You might think this would piss me off, but actually, it made me feel better than anything else she could have said to me.  I wasn't alone.  My husband wasn't the only one who looked at our baby like he didn't even know where he came from and expected me to do everything.  In fact, my marriage was the rule, not the exception.  I needed to accept my situation and cowgirl up.  With lots of support from Alaska, that's just what I did.

So that is the story of how Alaska saved Washington.  I would return the favor in a few months but that's another post.

The point of this blog is that life isn't a fairytale.  Life is hard.  Marriages can suck.  Being a parent will bring you to your knees.  The only way to survive it is to have a support system with at least one brave soul who can tell you like it is. 

Unfortunately, we have found that it's difficult to find that honesty in real life.  Everyone is so concerned with keeping up the pretense that life is rainbows and lollipops that they won't stop and say, "You know what, you're right, that sucks."

We're gonna keep it real, we're gonna keep it honest.  Send us your questions, your life's dilemmas. 

We might just save you, too.